#37 Blogathon 2009

Back in the day, I was quite the night owl. For lots of years I worked third shift and loved it. Throughout grad school I worked third shift in an office by myself, and I read and worked on my homework throughout the night, between alarms and phone calls (it was in a security department).

Fast forward through having two kids. Now I am like the queen of naps. I could sleep on command. And the last third shift job I worked about killed me.

So this is pretty interesting. I am still awake and this is my 3:00AM post. I could lie down. But not without my trusty timer.

This brings me to another salient point about the management of depression.

Sleep. It's important. It's more than important. It can make or break the most successful recovery/wellness plan.

In my own life I have had lots of sleep issues. Trouble falling asleep, trouble staying asleep. Waking up in the middle of the night with my heart racing having an anxiety attack... You name it, if it has to do with poor sleep, I have experienced it.

Six years ago I had a sleep study. In that I was diagnosed with sleep apnea. And prescribed a C-PAP machine to use during sleep. When I use the machine, I sleep better, I feel better and I have fewer migraines. Do I use it regularly?

No.

Why? Well, basically it is another aspect of self care which I neglect. When you hate yourself, hate life and feel as if you are in the depths of despair, you really don't feel like taking care of yourself. The extra effort is exhausting, and basically not a priority when you are in base survival mode. The problem is, such self neglect only perpetuates the depression.

Oh well, I'm off for a few minutes of being tortured by bad movies on late night network TV.