I am no expert on this either.
Why then, you may ask, do you want to talk about it so damn bad? To show your ignorance?
And my answer is, in a word, Yes.
Because I don't think anyone can be an "expert" on relationships. We are blessed/lucky or whatever to find those whose leanings and personalities work with our own. Or we are not.
I do think, however, that there needs to be an understanding that we treat our "loved ones" as well as we would a respected celebrity.
Do I always do this? No. Do I do it often? No, of course not.
Basically if you have chosen to have an intimate relationship with someone, you need to respect them, and trust them.
And if you don't, well, that is the subject of someone else's blog.
My life is not perfect. St. Timothy and I have had our ups and downs. But we keep coming back, to borrow a phrase from 12-Step literature, because something there works for us. We have gotten old, lost our childish idealistic ideas of the perfect relationship (which does not exist).
I bemoan the fact he does not spoil me, yet he bemoans the fact I don't let him spoil me.
See where this is going?
The bottom line is that it fits. And it works. And yes, we need to be nicer to one another. But we have been kind, for the most part. I am not an overly romantic person. He is, at least more than I am. But he is steady and real, while I am flighty and grandiose. He is a good person. Me, not so much.
We escape our family of origin simply to make new families and work through all the baggage of the original families.
In my house, I get called on this. I think St Timothy would call this free therapy.
And sometimes, it is exactly what I need.
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I am blogging through Blogathon 2009 for the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. Please support the effort!
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