Sunday, October 4, 2009

Looking for love from someone else is like looking for bread at the hardware store.

This is by far one of my favorite Al-Anon quotes. The exact quote escapes me; let me go look it up.

The reading is from Courage to Change, and it's the beginning of the January 2nd reading:

"Turning to an alcoholic for affection and support can be like going to a hardware store for bread."

Lately I am working on being more positive. And overall, I feel it's working. Tonight I had a momentary slip up where I started feeling lonely and sorry for myself because I am married to someone who, to quote a book title, seems like "he's just not that into me." Tonight I realized he is putting alot of energy in reconnecting with friends from the past, and less and less energy in communicating with me. I let myself feel hurt, rejected, and yeah, even jealous for a bit. Then I realized THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

I - and the Universe - AM that into me!
He is not my only source of love, respect or friendship.
Perhaps he should be a source, but after almost 6 years, I know that this is hit or miss.
To pull an idea from Abraham-Hicks, I miss the vibrational place/space/energy of when we were on the same wavelength. And he maintains that we are still there. Yet I am no longer worrying about it.

No one but me can be all the things I need from this life. And I do have sources of friendship and companionship at Al-Anon meetings, at work, and with my dear friends who do care about me.

Am I still lonely? A little.
Am I still sad? Nope.

There is more out there for me. I just have to open my eyes and be grateful for the now.
Everything is fine. I am right where I am supposed to be.


  1. And your blogger friends as well. Believe me... you are loved!!!!

  2. Terre... it is a good the 3 As... especially AWARENESS..

    It is good not to be in denial.. and also bravely admitting you are feeling LONELY.

    I dated an alcoholic.. he was good at keeping me OFF-Balance... and than being extra sweet; but than zooming in sideways...

    I think some do that to keep a woman off-balance because they are afraid to be a LONE.. so they make the other one feel insecure;.. with neglect and than being extra sweet or whatever.

    I can't even describe it properly.. but I do remember how that felt..............and never again.

    Being sweet and than a little 'zing'.. like .. well.. so many little zings...and when you try to make them is like we are the paranoid ones.

    I saw him recently twice.. and I did not get affected by his little zings... because I have not dated him in years... nor would I want to. He looked horrible too.