Saturday, October 17, 2009

Al-Anon musings

Been going back to meetings. Since Wednesday I have attended a meeting every day, did a Saturday morning meeting today, and planning on a meeting tomorrow night in Lexington, and taking my daughter along for Alateen.

Today the meeting topic was serenity. I ended up leading the meeting, and I am grateful for enough serenity to lead a meeting.

This week we have talked about forgiveness. This is very important for me to learn about. After pondering it a while, I have discovered that I am not very forgiving to myself or to my husband who is my alcoholic. Because of the hell he has put me through in the past, I walk around looking behind every corner and into every shadow anticipating drunken cruelty, rages, and disappointments.

Reading after reading has told me to lower my expectation for other people, or to have none at all... what if I did this for myself - and lowered my expectations of the negative things as well?

What if I don't expect him to drink or to be sober, but have NO expectations for him? What if I have the expectation for myself that MY SERENITY takes the highest priority, no matter what silly shit someone else is doing?

We also talked about abundance at another meeting this week. One of the best heard things in that meeting to me was to BE GRATEFUL - GREATLY FULL - for even the smallest of things, comforts or gifts in our lives. This is a good thing for me to ponder on too.

From my Al-Anon journal:
SLIP = Serenity Losing Its Priority
Letting other people suffer their natural consequences of their actions allows them full personhood, dignity, and shows that I am not putting myself above that person.

I also had to think about the idea that it is HIGH time I let go and released my Fifth Step to my sponsor. She has her hands full, and I am not sure at this point she is ready to hear it, so I am also thinking that maybe I should find another sponsor. Any input on this would be appreciated.


  1. I had heard SLIP before as "sobriety loses it's priority" but I like the Al-Anon version just as much. It's much more applicable to my day-to-day life. Sounds like you are in the thick of things. A sponsor who is free to help would be a good idea. Change maybe?

  2. I love this one.. SLIP = Serenity Losing Its Priority

    I never heard that one.. thank you.. thank you... thank you...

    Is there anyone else you feel comfy sharing your 5th step?

    I never got a sponsor.. I just share with my HP.. but i have a couple of women I consider mentor and a man that is online too.

    One woman is from my face to face and the other woman is from al-anon phone bridges besides the online older man.

    One in each arena..