Thursday, February 25, 2010

Musings about the unmanageability of my life

In the past few days my body has physically broken down, and I got a high fever. I tried to take the day off from work, and indeed I did not leave the apartment, but my phone rang off the hook. Crisis after crisis occurred and I was called to give direction or feedback on what to do, how to handle the crisis.

I took a two hour nap, but I also cleaned the apartment twice, cooked three meals, and did the dishes 4 or 5 times. I also broke up numerous fights between my daughters and listened to three drama meltdowns from my 14 year old daughter.

I was also told by my husband - who has done nothing about getting the things out of our old house we lost - that he is not going to help in anyway get the rest of the things out of that house, nor get it ready to turn back over to the owner. This responsibility will fall squarely on me. His response when I stated that I really needed assistance in completing the task? "Just tell them to take us to court."
This does nothing to help me.

I am just overwhelmed. My life became unmanageable from the moment I first drew a cognizant breath. I am powerless over anyone taking responsibility for anything that is their problem. I am powerless over the alcohol that is constantly making my life so much more difficult, even though I never drink a drop of the nasty crap myself anymore.

I am very tired.

I am losing my will.

Hopefully this is making room for HP's will. If not, I have no hope.

1 comment:

  1. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Please try to get as much sleep too since you are not feeling well. Maybe just tune it all out for awhile... and rest. (hugs). I know easier said than done.