Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Day three of emerging from the fog

It's been three days now and I actually have emotions again. That part kind of sucks. I am also feeling the anxiety very sharply when I view what is the bleakness of my life and future. This part makes me miss the oppressive fog, but then again, I do like the being able to move about and speak again, so I guess it is a more or less even trade.
In the last days or so it has become apparent, however that I am having a flare-up of the fibro. Since I *might* be starting a new job tomorrow, I am wondering if I should use the cane today and tonight to spare my hips, legs, feet, and back so I will not hobble when I work tomorrow, and therefore not give them the impression I am going to keel over as if I were a patient requiring care. I called the doctor I have been assigned to, and his office says that they are double-booked and cannot see me at all. So basically I am without care, unless I go to a UTC or to the ER. Dealing with this doctor has been a nightmare.

So at any rate, today's plan is to go buy steaks, shrimp, and all the other trappings for Tim's birthday dinner tonight. Then go to a meeting at noon if I can squeeze it in, and then go to work, handle some pending crises as well as the usual onslaught of paperwork, keep trying to call the other job to see if I indeed start there full-time tomorrow, handle a human rights committee meeting and a behavior intervention committee meeting, come home, cook meal, bake cake before people start arriving. During this time my 13 yr old will call me repeatedly on the phone to harass me about how many hours she can spend with the friend she is obsessed about, and I will try not to pass out or lose my mind. Oh yeah, and not throw up or think about the future. Yay me.

1 comment:

  1. I'll do anything I can to help. I have some pages I got from my shrink on dealing with anxiety and phobias. I'll happily copy them for you. I also have a book on dealing with depression through meditation techniques which I'll gladly lend you. I'll give you a call tomorrow, okay?