After much contemplation - and THANK YOU to my commenting readers! - I have determined why I am so stuck on this issue. Like many of us, I am operating out of a place of woundedness, where nothing I have or can do can fill this hole inside me. It is chiefly lack of self-love. I am thinking it is because I am not well acquainted with the notion that I am lovable or worthy of love. And so I do not love myself.
I am learning that the love I have for others is merely a shadow without loving myself.
But old habits are hard to break, and old ways of thinking - 40 years' worth of self-derision, to be exact - are hard to reverse.
Having patience with myself is hard when I am lost.
Thanks for caring enough to read my words. It helps me heal and find my way.
Terre,
ReplyDeleteI get frustrated whenever you make comments putting youself down. I've often thought that you don't think very much of yourself. I have alway wished that you would stop it. You are a lot more worthy than you give yourself credit. I hope that now that you have though about this, you will start to get get love to yourself that you deserve.