Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Another day in paradise

Today I had an interview scheduled for a second job - to replace the job I quit all of 4 days ago - and the car would not start. I tried over 50 times, and the bad started just kept clicking and clicking. So, with no further ado, I called and asked to reschedule. They said they would get back to me, and they haven't. The job was just a part time retail gig, but as Tim still isn't working - not since October of last year - I am panicked with the idea of only having one job to support us. I know it takes more than the $1300 a month my current consultant gig brings in to support us. But as I sweat all my makeup off in the sun trying to start that car, I came to a realization:

This is not mine to do alone.

There is no rule that gives him a free pass for the past 8 months, to take a free vacation and live in the lap of luxury without having to do any type of work or contribute in any way.

The only rule has been the fact that my sense of over-responsibility has led me to try to do it all, without his help.

So I spent my energies this afternoon completing online applications for him for two retail jobs. If I can work entry level retail with a Masters, he can do it as an old man with a GED. And I am helping him with creating a resume, so he can apply for other better jobs... and step up to the plate and do what he needs to do.

I am happy with one job. I need a partner, not another dependent. The choice is now his. And I can do no more.... actually by my inner Al-Anon standards, I feel I have already done way too much.

Thanks for listening. I am getting some peace now.

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