Monday, May 25, 2009

When is one out of rope? as in the end of it?

Tonight I went to a meeting and it ended up that just my sponsor and I showed up. We ate some cookies I made, I sipped orange manadrin green tea, and we talked.
We discussed bad behavior - when is enough enough? How do I communicate that I am no longer going to accept bad behavior. When do I just leave? And when do I uproot my children, my life and everything and just move on?

I want to write. I don't want to do direct care in the human services. I am not a nurse, I don't want to be a nurse, and I don't want to be a caregiver anymore. To anyone. I will complete my tour of duty with my kids, because I caused them, but I am no longer interested in saving anyone else's life. Does this make me a bad person? Or merely a tired, fed up person?

Tonight I am doing a writing exercise - I may put it on here.....

And tomorrow I get up even earlier than I planned so I can do the work that I have asked someone else to help with for almost 2 years, and he has refused to do it. So once again, I do my part and his too, and I move on. This time hopefully for good. I am not sure I am interested in salvaging anything anymore.

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