Wednesday, March 31, 2010

My 300th post: Thoughts on self-care

This is my 300th post... very hard to believe, considering blogging has been sort of an ebb and flow experience for me.

Lately something has been bothering me more and more.... I have noticed an overall decline in my energy, and have basically been feeling worse and worse. This has been going on for about a month or so, and it has me worried. I don't feel I have much energy at all, am easily tired, want to sleep more and more, but my quality of sleep is not good. And my body hurts more and more. I am moving it less and less, due to the increasing pain and exhaustion. Those I talk to tell me to rest, and I do, most of the time, but it seems to make it worse, not better. And I just can't force myself to do much else these days. Today I worked in three counties, and tomorrow and Friday I am working in the other two counties, and I am still working lots of hours per week. But I am less and less able to do it.

This also scares me because I have applied for a very physical job and had an interview on Monday. The interview was mediocre. But the job would mean 8 more hours a day on my feet. To even think about it now makes me want to crawl under a rock and never emerge.

I am trying to force myself to walk more, move more, and NOT TO ISOLATE as part of my self-care idea. However, tonight I have an Al-Anon meeting in less than an hour, and I am aching all over, and really want nothing more than to go home, put on a nightgown and go to bed (like I have for the last 4 days). I've felt feverish, weak and generally like I have the flu. But not bad enough to get a day off.

My idea is that if I keep trying to live better, I will eventually feel better.
Does anyone have any idea when that will happen?
Just wondering.

P.S. Thanks for reading the past 300 posts of mental drivel. I've been doing this now since 2008. Two years of words.

1 comment:

  1. It doesn't seem you have been writing the blogs that long. I'm sure, however, I did not start following you here until much later after you started.
    I hope you find the answer to feeling better. I hate to hear this news.