Today I decided to accept the offer of full time employment at the agency where I have been doing independent contracting for the past year.
This is probably a good thing. We need the money. Although the offered salary is quite low, it will be more than I am making now. And if I am to work anywhere full time, I prefer to be in this place, where people support me and feel that I have a unique talent for what I do. Where my opinion is valued.
A part of me wishes I was brave enough to trust in my writing process, to focus on writing full time, and make it my life's work. Unfortunately, this is not an option right now as I have a family to support. Yeah, I am married, and yeah, St Timothy is working at the moment. But as I have learned the hard way, this is not something I can depend on. So I have to make plans to be able to support my family the best I can, alone.
And a part of me really resents this as well.
So it is past midnight, I have to get up early again tomorrow, and live to fight another day.