Knitting Christmas items...

I was just reminded on an email listserv I am on that it is time to work on Christmas gifts. I have decided to do a hat and mitten combo for my nephew, so this was a good reminder.

Today it is cool enough to wear sweaters here. The sun is bright and the sky is blue, but it is not warm - my FAVORITE kind of day (once it hits 32 degrees F I am less enamored of the weather) and it has me thinking about building a fire in my fireplace and knitting! Ah, I can't wait!!!!

Until then, I have to go to work, do more paperwork, and file more paperwork.
Thank goodness I like my job, and my office, and my coworkers.
Have a good day!

Thoughts on Worthiness from Abraham-Hicks

Manic Monday

Last night I was dealing with some anxiety or slight mania, I think, and then I became anxious because I couldn't figure out what I was experiencing - anxiety or mania - so the long and short of it is that I was unable to sleep and ended up crashing out on the couch at 3am, and was grouchy all day because of it.

Another lesson for me: Sleep is becoming a non-negotiable. And I need to make time for it.
And no more skipping my vitamins or any other medications.

I'm off the soapbox now.

I am watching Tim play with Tara and it is doing my heart alot of good. Even when we are barely communicating, I still love to watch him spend time with Tara. He is a good father.

Looking for love from someone else is like looking for bread at the hardware store.

This is by far one of my favorite Al-Anon quotes. The exact quote escapes me; let me go look it up.

The reading is from Courage to Change, and it's the beginning of the January 2nd reading:

"Turning to an alcoholic for affection and support can be like going to a hardware store for bread."


Lately I am working on being more positive. And overall, I feel it's working. Tonight I had a momentary slip up where I started feeling lonely and sorry for myself because I am married to someone who, to quote a book title, seems like "he's just not that into me." Tonight I realized he is putting alot of energy in reconnecting with friends from the past, and less and less energy in communicating with me. I let myself feel hurt, rejected, and yeah, even jealous for a bit. Then I realized THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

I - and the Universe - AM that into me!
He is not my only source of love, respect or friendship.
Perhaps he should be a source, but after almost 6 years, I know that this is hit or miss.
To pull an idea from Abraham-Hicks, I miss the vibrational place/space/energy of when we were on the same wavelength. And he maintains that we are still there. Yet I am no longer worrying about it.

No one but me can be all the things I need from this life. And I do have sources of friendship and companionship at Al-Anon meetings, at work, and with my dear friends who do care about me.

Am I still lonely? A little.
Am I still sad? Nope.

There is more out there for me. I just have to open my eyes and be grateful for the now.
Everything is fine. I am right where I am supposed to be.

A stolen afternoon away from work!

Today was a fabulous day!

This afternoon I escaped from work for a few hours and with a friend of mine went to a Gem and Mineral Show in Lexington. She got me a very awesome and beautiful clear quartz crystal, and I love it!!!!! I am including a picture here.

Then we went around and investigated a few of the parks in the Frankfort area. Our favorite by far was Cove Springs Park. And we took some great pictures! Check them out. I am going to try to squeeze in a trip back tomorrow, and take my digital camera. These pictures were all taken with my little work cell phone's camera.

A rainy Friday in October

Ah, Fridays. I love them. Almost as much as Saturdays. It is a dream come true, every week.

Today I woke up early and stretched out in bed and thought about all the things I have to do today. It's a long list, but nowhere near impossible. I came to to conclusion this morning that much of my stress comes not from my inability to delegate tasks to my employees, but my unwillingness to let go the result. I give them the task, but then I constantly worry that they are completing it to the best of their abilities and in a timely manner. So today, I resolve to let go of what is not in my basket. I DID listen at Al-Anon when it was said, Today I give thanks that the world can revolve without any help from me.

I am planning a weekend of getting some more work done, but also of taking time to relax and enjoy myself. This weekend I am going to a free rock and mineral show with a friend; she and I are both big crystal buffs. I also have so many good things to read; this weekend I am going to take time to read them. I also am going to take time to clear the physical clutter around me, so I can feel cleared emotionally and physically as well. And of course, I am going to make time to write.

This is definitely my favorite time of year. I get a little worn and almost manic in September, and October is always the take a deep breath and center myself kind of month. At the end of this month I turn FORTY. And while I am consciously *not* putting any real stock in a number, I have noticed some physical decline of my earthly envelope, this body. So I am also very grateful to have discovered Nopalea for my fibromyalgia. It has made a big difference - NO MORE CANE. I also am taking some Glucosamine for my knee, and that seems to be helping too. My knee is not clicking much at all! Also, the Nopalea seems to be helping my moods, I am no longer desolate, and I feel like Al-Anon has cognitively given me hope and woken me up so I could hear and *get* the message of positivity and abundance. This is a huge deal for me, an eternal cynic and smart ass.

And I am learning to be grateful for the "small things," for with small things, we make up the world. And with our thoughts too.... my apologies to Buddha for mangling his quote. For example, this morning my tea came out perfect. I am sipping it and listening to rain outside. I am sitting on the couch which just happens to have a recliner on either end, and it was *given* to me by someone who bought themselves new living room furniture. I am going to be teaching CPR today, and I love to teach and do training. I have also moved around, organized and cleaned my office, putting lighting and candles in there so it is a very pleasant place to be and work.

I am very grateful for my good, loving and interesting friends. They have so many different talents and personalities, they make life so interesting. And I am learning alot from them... I also have some great writers as friends, and watching their love of their craft and their creative processes really inspires me.

Like I said on Twitter a few days ago:

I am rich beyond measure.

I Love October!

This is my favorite time of year. I love the change of the seasons, and the weather growing cooler, and the changing colors of the leaves. I love pulling my sweaters out and starting to wear them. And I love seeing my breath in the air in the mornings. And how my morning tea warms my hands as I sit outside and smell the tang of winter on the wind.