Saturday, January 31, 2009

So what is sanity anyway?

Today was one of those days where I just did what I had to do. And halfway through the day at work I realized that every joint in my body was locking up, in pain, and basically I needed to get back home before the flare came on and really kicked my ass.

I made it home, and got into bed. Slept about an hour, and then got up and hit an Al-Anon meeting. Had trouble walking, especially with the ice on the pavement here, but Tim helped me, so I made it. The worse part of it was getting up the stairs at the meeting, but isn't that always the way? Anyway, after the meeting, Tim and I went for burritos and then I came home to get in the tub and soak in the hottest water I could stand. Now I am just wavering stiff, not in acute pain, as the hot water did its job. Tomorrow may be another story. But I am here. And only aching from the wrists down.

At any rate, this week has caused me to look at some of my own -isms and determine if I can recover from them. One of them is workaholism.... I have felt that if I weren't working every day that I was snowed/iced in this week that I was a terrible person and at risk for losing one or more of my jobs. I have to let go of that.

I also am at the mercy of a 3 year old with strep throat who is terrorizing the household simply because she feels so terrible herself. Gawdess only knows I have done this myself numerous times in the past years.... yet it sucks when the shoe is on the other foot......

Anyway, I question what is sanity as I try to - quite literally, as it turns out - put one foot in front of the other and do the next simple thing to get through my life... What is it? How will I know when I have grasped it? And what's so great about it anyway?

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