Friday, January 2, 2009

When is it just too much?

This is more of my attempt to write more in 2009. Please bear with me.

Today I am faced with the dilemma of when is too much, well, just too much. Basically I do not characterize myself as a forgiving person. Yet I have tried to cobble together a life with someone, and he has continued to let me down on every level imaginable. Now he has agreed to go into rehab on Monday, and I am glad for it.
Others are telling me that it will be hard to live without a man, without a husband. However, I did it for about 8 years before I met this one, and for 25 years before I met the first one. I was a single mother for 8 years, and I preferred it, actually. There was no one I had to confer with before I made a parenting decision, and I always knew if I worked (and I always did/do), my kids would not go without. I also slept when I wanted to, and there was no one to wake me up 2-20 times a night to tell me I am snoring...

My dilemma is this:
How can you tell when you no longer love someone?
And can you love someone you cannot trust?
And how many transgressions can/should I overlook before I require someone to be accountable for their actions toward me?

Hmmmm, I may have answered my own question.

I am hypervigilant about my own conduct, especially when it comes to being accountable to those I love. However, I am learning the hard way, in my 40th year, that most people (at least those in my family/marriage) are not.

Anyway, keep the faith. I cannot.


  1. Those are hard questions to have to ask, but I'm glad you are willing to ask them.

  2. I agree with Renee, and also give you credit that you have taken a moment for yourself to simply ask them. You will find your way. Just keep moving...

  3. Terre,

    please go to my website and click on the "blog" heading on the left side of the front page which will take you to my "contact us" and send me your email address. I have something to give you for the new year but need your email to send it.