My time

Today I have been thinking quite a bit about time management. I had to counsel a couple of employees on their time management skills, and their resulting lack of inefficiency at work. I do not profess to be the queen of time management by any means; one look at my all work and no play lifestyle would attest to that. But it made me think about what motivates each of us - including me - to care, to decide to put forth the effort to make effective change come about in our lives, and in other people's lives.

At this point it may be necessary for me to disclose that I am looking at a couple of marketing jobs I can do while I am working my current job. I am resigned to the fact that I am the financially responsible one in my home, and I am going conduct myself accordingly.

Today I came to another realization as well. I have been so busy that I have failed to stop and thank the universe. I have not felt despair or depression for almost TWO WEEKS now! This is a miracle. Anxiety is another story. Without the depression to cut through, the anxiety has been wreaking some havoc, having full reign. Time to reign it in.

Well, I'm off to put the finishing touches on some stuff at the office and then go home. Not sure what I am going to feed the minions at home. We'll see.

Reading and writing... not so much on the arithmetic.

This weekend I read that book that everyone is raving about, The Shack. I gave it 3 stars (out of 5) on my goodreads review. Not because it was terrible. And not because it was pushing Christianity. I actually like the ideas that it set forth, and have to admit, if my mind was that broad when I was a Christian, I would have stayed one. Back in the day I did feel especially connected to BVM, and I still honor that commitment in many ways. One thing that I really liked about The Shack was that at one point in the book the protagonist actually envisions god as a black woman. Now, that is an image I can honor. And the qualities that She showed, loving and nurturing, are ones that many people in this world need from their god. I'm not going to make this about my own beliefs or tenets; I've written about that in an earlier blog.

I also started reading Nicole Krauss' The History of Love this weekend. Although only a couple of chapters in, I am really enjoying it. I was sucked in by the second or third page. I love it when that happens.

Also have been really throwing myself into work. I am neglecting writing, and my friendships again. And I am feeling alot of quilt over that.

What I am I?

Ever since I was a little girl I have wanted to be a writer. With a capital W. But life got in the way. Other things happened. My own words reared up and turned against me, and I was no longer able to find any redeeming value in them. They became merely tools I used in my daily life, in my work, to advocate and try to change things for other people.
Now I look to them for solace, and find they have left me. Now, to borrow a line from Edgar Allan Poe, all that I see or seem is merely a dream within a dream.

Neglectin' nothin' but the blog

I have been extremely busy in the last couple of weeks. My mood has stabilized a great deal, and I have been overcoming some pesky cold/flu issues, but haven't missed any work because of it.

I am actually enjoying my full time work now. Things are going much better and I am having a larger say in how things are being handled, which I do attribute in part to why things are going better there.

I am also doing some consulting work, and this will bring in a little extra money, so that is good.

St Timothy is working part time at the agency where I work, and he actually enjoys it, so that is a huge surprise. I only hope it continues.

Chloe is actually enjoying school, and so far it appears she is doing well. Last year's homeschooling really helped her be ready to accept more work and responsibility.

Tara is doing well, more energetic than ever, and saying the cleverest and funniest things. This morning, for example, she checked me to make sure my "heart is beeping." She then took a health history and looked for something in her toy box to help me "just calm down." Then she came over and put a stuffed dog on my forehead (for the fever and headache) and rubbed my feet. Then she gave me her Elmo to rock. What a good physician she is! Now, how soon can she get through med school and support me in a way to which I would like to become accustomed?

(I promise to write something more insightful later. At the moment, I am just glad to have a moment to post.)

Today I am meeting my mother for a late lunch on the river, and I am going ALONE, sans children. Almost like an adult.

Never mind the fact that I have a stuffed dog on my head.

The plot ever thickens...

Well, I am both more stressed than ever, but also feeling like I am trying to take more control of my life.

Today I went to the farmer's market and grocery, and completed the shopping for the week. I am happy to report that I bought lots of fruits and vegetables, and that many of them are organic. I also found some great pears and blackberries, and am putting the pears and bananas out of my kitchen counter, so when anyone in the family wants a snack they can grab that instead of the usual crap junk food they eat in loads. I bought no junk food, no convenience foods other than fresh fruits and vegetables they can consume raw...

I'm also happy to report that St Timothy has almost made it through all his training so he can begin working at the same agency I do. He will be doing direct care, and he is working with his direct supervisor tonight.

Chloe started school this week. So far she loves it. And so far she seems to be doing well. I hope this all continues.

Now, if I could just become rich and famous, things would be okay.... seriously, my mother bought a car this week and gave it to me to drive, I just need to make the payments and pay the insurance, and I already paid the first 3 months' insurance. I still want to get more caught up in bills so I can do things like buy Chloe some school clothes, but this is okay, and will get better. At least now I can get to work without breaking down on the road.

What I have read this weekend...

This weekend I have been home reading. I did go out yesterday to learn more about Sonoran Bloom and TriVita which is making a HIGE difference in how I feel - both the physical pain as well as my energy levels and mood. If you have any issues with inflammation, mood, chronic pain, or any of the above, please let me know. I will send you some information! Free gifts of health to follow!

I have been reading quite a bit this weekend. So far:

Hark! The Herald Angel Screamed by Mignon F. Ballard


My rating: 3 of 5 stars
This is the first of this series that I have read. The characters were likable; a few were a bit stereotypical, but overall enjoyed the book.
GREAT recipes at the end. I am making the jam cake and lemonade cake this week!

View all my reviews >>

And continuing my growing fascination with the graphic novel format...

Syncopated: An Anthology of Nonfiction Picto-Essays by Brendan Burford


My rating: 4 of 5 stars
The very concept of this book I heartily endorse: a series of picto-essays from different authors on different subjects. What unites them? The graphic format and the desire to share some opinion or slice of life.

While the different contributions were of varying quality, the overall package is very interesting, and I look forward to more of Syncopated.

View all my reviews >>

and

My Mommy: is in America and she met Buffalo Bill by Jean Regnaud


My rating: 4 of 5 stars
This is a sweet and interesting look at how children deal with having the truth withheld from them. Very interesting. Worth reading.

View all my reviews >>

And of course, on my table to begin next are:



and



These may take a while, however. I also checked out the third season of The Sopranos, so I will be watching it too.

I have determined that I would lose my mind if it weren't for my library - it is about 2 blocks from my office, and I am there at least weekly. They have an awesome friends' bookstore (open to the public too!) as well.

Other than that I have been spending lots of time with Tara this weekend, and cleaning a bit on the house (nothing drastic!) as well as cooking (chicken & dumplings yesterday in the crockpot, shepherd's pie tonight). I am less than academic at the moment, and am enjoying it enormously.

This week Chloe starts school again However, Tara will be homeschooled another year by my husband and myself. There is no full-day school for her in our town, and I am working in the next town. And her father is going to start working again, as I am going to employ him myself. St Timothy will be very busy from now on, indeed. He will miss working elsewhere.

A good reason to write:

Alas for those who do not sing, they die with their song still inside them.
- service of Yom Kippur