I am back after life forced a writing hiatus. I ended up dropping out of NaNoWriMo, and basically felt like I had let myself down once again.
It's not that I have nothing to say; it's just that I am more interested at present in what others have to say. I am interested in what is out there, and more confident about what is in here. Maybe that is why I don't have to explore it in a navel-gazing way for the moment.
Yesterday I found myself sinking deeper and deeper into depression as I pondered the logistics of being homeless. I have decisions to make; my older daughter is in school and doing well, but I will not be able to commute the 50 miles each day to transport her to and from school. I don't even know if schools will let homeless kids enroll. How do they know what district a student is in if the student is homeless? How am I going to take care of my dog? What is this going to do to the joie de vivre that my 4 year old shows? All weighty questions on my soul.
Today I am grateful that I have more than today to get answers to these questions. I am also grateful that my rent is paid for the month, and we were given Thanksgiving food from a family member, so we will eat this week. I am grateful I have lots of good things to read to take my mind off things. I am grateful that I have a job, and that my husband continues to work for this company too, so we have some income. I am thankful that he has more sober (well, dry) days than he has since I have met him. And that we have beautiful and sweet and intelligent children that still love us. I am grateful that my body hurts less today. And that I am working on more referrals for work. I am grateful Chloe is doing so well in school. And that I am enjoying a new church home with my children at the Unitarian Universalist Church. I am grateful for the folks out there in cyberland who read this blog, and allow me to benefit from their wisdom and goodness in their blogs. I am grateful for my program. And I am grateful for Step Six.