Gratitude for Wednesday

Today I am grateful for the following:

1. That my children are healthy and happy and both with me. I am able to spend lots of time with my 4 year old daughter for a mother who works 7 days a week. I am able to take her with me alot when I work, and I don't have to have daycare.

2. That I have a job. My job is hectic and sometimes tedious, but what I do makes a difference in people's lives, and I am in the position to advocate for people who cannot speak for themselves, and I help others advocate for themselves.

3. That my dog is here when I get home, to give me unconditional love.

4. That we have food to eat and the Internet to communicate on.

5. That I have a few good friends who genuinely care about me.

6. That I am learning to look at the positive parts of my life.

7. That I am open to learning new things even though I will be the BIG 4-0 next month.

8. That I still have a sense of humor about turning the big 4-0...

9. That I have a stack of great books to read by my bed!

10. That Tim is cooking dinner tonight.

Thanks for reading. I invite you to add more blessings - yours or mine, they become ours! - in the comments.

Migraine

I want to write about migraines. I have one.

It started like any other headache, waking me up with a hint of a sore neck. At first I thought it was merely painful because I had been joined at the midpoint of my slumber by the ever-stretchy Tara, a four year old who can take an entire queen size bed for her domain. Alas, it moved into my forehead, spanning the bridge of my nose with its tentacles of discomfort. I fought back with the wondrous neti pot and was lulled into complacency by the slight disentanglement of one tentacle.

By lunch I was ready to chew my own limbs from their sockets like so much sinewy jerky. I met a friend for lunch and was pleasantly surprised in the middle of inhaling my salad that I only had the sensitive aura left of my headache left clinging to my left temple.

This ended up being a dastardly trick, and I am shamed to admit I fell for it like a dot com stock. By this afternoon I was driving into the sun and my eyes were glazed with pinpoints of fire. I drove Chloe to her school chorus concert and resolved to brave the storm within my brain. Afterwards I went to an Al-Anon meeting and was able to focus on the meeting - and welcome a newcomer - without falling out of my chair.

Home now. Each beam of light and each sound is piercing my being like nettles or swords. And I am in bed with a brain buzzing that will not let me sleep.

I read somewhere that migraineurs (i.e., people who have migraines) are more likely to commit suicide. This does not surprise me. Chronic pain does make one look for a way out. I've also read that we have a higher rate of depression. I'll buy that.

So I am going to stop with the computer tonight, and sleep. If my mind will let me. And wake up again, for tomorrow is another day.

Finally finished the Palahnuik I was reading...

Pygmy by Chuck Palahniuk

My rating: 2 of 5 stars So far I am not digging it. Palahniuk is a fine writer, and this is well written. And thought provoking in it pointing out of absurdities. But I am just not digging it. Still, it's good enough to finish. And maybe my overall impression will be different. A week later: I am still slogging through this. It's almost like I am forcing myself to read it, and it's basically an exercise in endurance at this point. I *will* finish this, as I have liked his other work to commit to it, but this one is leaving me cold. The anthropological voice of shock value/novelty is just not compelling enough to draw me in. FINALLY I finished this book. I would have given it one star if it hadn't (like all Palahniuk works) made me pause and think at several parts of the book. Overall, I was not taken in by the autocratic fractured English of the first person narrator. I was impressed that he was able to keep it fairly consistent throughout. In summary, if you REALLLLLY like Palahniuk you should read this. Especially if you are one of those readers who likes to read the canon of each favored author. It's as good as Snuff, nowhere near as good as Stranger than Fiction. View all my reviews >>

New readings

Right now I am enjoying an abundance of wonderful new reading possibilities.

First, there is the wondrous Paul Sawyier Public Library, my book home away from home. The staff is just the right combination of friendly and yet-not-snoopy, and I am also a friend of the library. It is about 2 blocks away from my office and that thrills me to no end as well.

I also am picking up free or almost-free paranormal books to read. They end up being just brain candy for me to relax with, but this is IMPORTANT to have an outlet here as well.

And I now have two of the Abraham-Hicks books, The Law of Attraction and Ask and It Is Given. Check out their work at their interactive website.

Those of you who have been following me for a while know that I am trying to concentrate on and enjoy abundance in my life. No, I am not perfect yet, but I am doing better each day in enjoying what I have and making myself receptive to what is out there in store for me. This has been a psychic and psychological stretch for me, but I am glad to be making it. I think at this time in my life I am finally poised to make it, and I have evolved enough to take that leap of faith - no, certainty! that life has much more and better to offer me as I try to do the next right thing and keep my priorities and heart in the right place.

I have not been going to meetings lately, and I want to remedy that this week. Tomorrow my older daughter and I are planning on making a new meeting in Lexington. This one has two separate meetings (actually three - there is a men's group as well) and she can attend Alateen while I can attend an Al-Anon meeting that does speaker and step meetings on the 1st and 2nd Sundays of the month. I really feel I need to include Al-Anon back in my life. It is a part of what led me to be able to be strong enough to believe in abundance.

I've also been working a crazy amount. I love my work, and so that makes me happy. But there is so much, and the only time I feel I can really accomplish the paperwork end of things is when I am in the office by myself, and this can only occur on the weekends. Right now Tim is working the 1st shift in one of our houses on Saturdays and Sundays and so I can work after I drop him off, and that lets me get things accomplished. I am going to state when I need uninterrupted time so I can work in peace in my office. I am also going to exercise my right to close my office door.

Also this weekend, to come back full circle to the reading topic, I am going to read some works on time management and prioritizing tasks in business to see if there is some other wisdom out there I can use.

Tonight I go meet my dad and his new girlfriend and go out to dinner with Tim and the kids. It should be fun.

Well, dear readers, enjoy the rest of your weekend. It is cool and rainy here in the capital of Kentucky, but a fabulous day.

Recommendation

Go over to my list of blogs on the sidebar and visit The Rag Blog and check out the last entry, on the Gift Economy. I love this concept, it has always worked in the small ways of my life. I was wondering: how would this look applied to the US Health Care Crisis at present?

Sammy

Sammy was the 14 year companion of my best friend. He vacationed at my house, spending time with my dog-son, Kruzer. Thank you all for your heart-felt wishes, I will pass them on to his owner, Barb, my friend of the last 6 or so years.

RIP Sammy P. Hansen, Faithful DoggyFriend

Today a very beautiful and gentle good friend passed away. He will be missed. He will always be loved.