This made very happy. Not sure I would disclose at a job interview, but there it is.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
I am powerless over time and my life has become unmanageable...
Well, the title of this entry kind of says it all.
On the bright side, I am still working both jobs, and have not quit, even though there have been several days I have wondering if killing myself slowly in this fashion is really worth it. I am looking at several different things in my world, and trying to make some decisions about everything.
I am trying to decide what I need to do to take care of what must happen... A very vague way of trying to determine some priorities and changes that may need to happen. For so long my life has been in a holding pattern, and right now my decision making is based on what I need to accomplish just to make it through the next 24 hours. That is kind of a good exercise for me to do in terms of recovery, but also been very problematic in my trying to be seen as more of a professional and less of a doormat upon which to dump repugnant tasks. It appears I have a less than rudimentary filter with which to weed out that stuff.
So forgive the not writing, and too many days of silence. Between working seven days per week and no Internet access at home, I have lost the ability to check in as much as I would like. Or go to meetings. Or do lots of other things.
On the bright side, I am still working both jobs, and have not quit, even though there have been several days I have wondering if killing myself slowly in this fashion is really worth it. I am looking at several different things in my world, and trying to make some decisions about everything.
I am trying to decide what I need to do to take care of what must happen... A very vague way of trying to determine some priorities and changes that may need to happen. For so long my life has been in a holding pattern, and right now my decision making is based on what I need to accomplish just to make it through the next 24 hours. That is kind of a good exercise for me to do in terms of recovery, but also been very problematic in my trying to be seen as more of a professional and less of a doormat upon which to dump repugnant tasks. It appears I have a less than rudimentary filter with which to weed out that stuff.
So forgive the not writing, and too many days of silence. Between working seven days per week and no Internet access at home, I have lost the ability to check in as much as I would like. Or go to meetings. Or do lots of other things.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
catching up....
It's been almost a month since my last post and not much has changed. I am still working at KIC and Starbucks. I am actually able to understand a drink call and can make most drinks now, albeit slowly. I am very lucky to have a great bunch of people to work with, and some of them are truly glorious people. As far as my original job goes, I am glad to have a part-time assistant to help with the phone, faxes and filing. This has helped me a great deal, and I may even get caught up some day.
Physically I am having alot of problems with the hypertension and the fibromyalgia. I keep having flares, not sleeping very well (even though I sleep every chance I get), and overall I feel very run down. My heels are hurting daily in an excruciating way, and so I have started back on the Nopalea and the vitamins as of this morning. I think this will make a big difference.
The weather here continues to be beautiful, even when there are thunderstorms or floods.
*** Disclaimer: I did not take any pictures of the flood, so I took these from jade1984 at The Weather Channel gallery. I'm sorry I didn't take any photos, because Mother Nature really showed us who is in control. Not us.***
Physically I am having alot of problems with the hypertension and the fibromyalgia. I keep having flares, not sleeping very well (even though I sleep every chance I get), and overall I feel very run down. My heels are hurting daily in an excruciating way, and so I have started back on the Nopalea and the vitamins as of this morning. I think this will make a big difference.
The weather here continues to be beautiful, even when there are thunderstorms or floods.
*** Disclaimer: I did not take any pictures of the flood, so I took these from jade1984 at The Weather Channel gallery. I'm sorry I didn't take any photos, because Mother Nature really showed us who is in control. Not us.***
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Headaches of a different kind....
Today is Wednesday and I have just realized that I have not seen either one of my children since Sunday. Yes, we all still live in the same tiny two bedroom apartment. But I am leaving for my first job before 7:00AM and then coming home from my second job at 11:00PM or later. I have seen my 5 year old asleep a few times, but I haven't laid eyes on my 14 year old since Sunday. I did talk to her on the phone once.
There is a part of me that is wondering if $40,000 a year is worth this. I am thinking it is not. However, I know there is no future in my present career or job and part of me is just hoping my manager at Starbucks is not kidding when she says she is going to train me in July to be a shift manager. ($40,000/year is not a typo. That's what I am making from BOTH jobs. Ooops, I just did the math; it's actually $37,800.)
On a brighter note, our Al-Anon group decided to go with my idea of adding another meeting. I asked for a Step Meeting on Thursday nights, and that is what is going to happen on May 13 and thereafter. This makes me very happy.
Tonight I am going to get to go to a meeting, and then go home and look at my children for a couple of hours. Tomorrow I am planning on going into work later, around 8am instead of before 7, and hopefully I will get some good sleep tonight. I'm not even reading anymore. Too tired, and if I pick up a book I am asleep before I can finish a page.
I'm also feeling old due to being in the midst of a fibro flare the past few days.
Thanks for listening to the whine. I will try to have better cheese next time.
There is a part of me that is wondering if $40,000 a year is worth this. I am thinking it is not. However, I know there is no future in my present career or job and part of me is just hoping my manager at Starbucks is not kidding when she says she is going to train me in July to be a shift manager. ($40,000/year is not a typo. That's what I am making from BOTH jobs. Ooops, I just did the math; it's actually $37,800.)
On a brighter note, our Al-Anon group decided to go with my idea of adding another meeting. I asked for a Step Meeting on Thursday nights, and that is what is going to happen on May 13 and thereafter. This makes me very happy.
Tonight I am going to get to go to a meeting, and then go home and look at my children for a couple of hours. Tomorrow I am planning on going into work later, around 8am instead of before 7, and hopefully I will get some good sleep tonight. I'm not even reading anymore. Too tired, and if I pick up a book I am asleep before I can finish a page.
I'm also feeling old due to being in the midst of a fibro flare the past few days.
Thanks for listening to the whine. I will try to have better cheese next time.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Earth Day!
I really love Earth Day. Christmas gives me the blues, and most other family-oriented holidays in general are just depressing. However, Earth Day (and Halloween, of course) is the type of holiday I can get behind.
Earth Day came about as an idea from Gaylord Nelson, a senator. The first Earth Day was celebrated in 1970, when I was about 7 months old. (I'm sure my parents had no idea about it; my dad is an ex-Marine sharpshooter whose idea of environmentalism is hunting, and my mother prides herself on having been above all hippy-like ideas, including saving the planet, in the 60s.)
Here's Nelson's take on the history of Earth Day (his own words taken from the EnviroLink website):
Actually, the idea for Earth Day evolved over a period of seven years starting in 1962. For several years, it had been troubling me that the state of our environment was simply a non-issue in the politics of the country. Finally, in November 1962, an idea occurred to me that was, I thought, a virtual cinch to put the environment into the political "limelight" once and for all. The idea was to persuade President Kennedy to give visibility to this issue by going on a national conservation tour. I flew to Washington to discuss the proposal with Attorney General Robert Kennedy, who liked the idea. So did the President. The President began his five-day, eleven-state conservation tour in September 1963. For many reasons the tour did not succeed in putting the issue onto the national political agenda. However, it was the germ of the idea that ultimately flowered into Earth Day.
I continued to speak on environmental issues to a variety of audiences in some twenty-five states. All across the country, evidence of environmental degradation was appearing everywhere, and everyone noticed except the political establishment. The environmental issue simply was not to be found on the nation's political agenda. The people were concerned, but the politicians were not.
After President Kennedy's tour, I still hoped for some idea that would thrust the environment into the political mainstream. Six years would pass before the idea that became Earth Day occurred to me while on a conservation speaking tour out West in the summer of 1969. At the time, anti-Vietnam War demonstrations, called "teach-ins," had spread to college campuses all across the nation. Suddenly, the idea occurred to me - why not organize a huge grassroots protest over what was happening to our environment?
I was satisfied that if we could tap into the environmental concerns of the general public and infuse the student anti-war energy into the environmental cause, we could generate a demonstration that would force this issue onto the political agenda. It was a big gamble, but worth a try.
At a conference in Seattle in September 1969, I announced that in the spring of 1970 there would be a nationwide grassroots demonstration on behalf of the environment and invited everyone to participate. The wire services carried the story from coast to coast. The response was electric. It took off like gangbusters. Telegrams, letters, and telephone inquiries poured in from all across the country. The American people finally had a forum to express its concern about what was happening to the land, rivers, lakes, and air - and they did so with spectacular exuberance. For the next four months, two members of my Senate staff, Linda Billings and John Heritage, managed Earth Day affairs out of my Senate office.
Five months before Earth Day, on Sunday, November 30, 1969, The New York Times carried a lengthy article by Gladwin Hill reporting on the astonishing proliferation of environmental events:
"Rising concern about the environmental crisis is sweeping the nation's campuses with an intensity that may be on its way to eclipsing student discontent over the war in Vietnam...a national day of observance of environmental problems...is being planned for next spring...when a nationwide environmental 'teach-in'...coordinated from the office of Senator Gaylord Nelson is planned...."
It was obvious that we were headed for a spectacular success on Earth Day. It was also obvious that grassroots activities had ballooned beyond the capacity of my U.S. Senate office staff to keep up with the telephone calls, paper work, inquiries, etc. In mid-January, three months before Earth Day, John Gardner, Founder of Common Cause, provided temporary space for a Washington, D.C. headquarters. I staffed the office with college students and selected Denis Hayes as coordinator of activities.
Earth Day worked because of the spontaneous response at the grassroots level. We had neither the time nor resources to organize 20 million demonstrators and the thousands of schools and local communities that participated. That was the remarkable thing about Earth Day. It organized itself.
Many people are not aware that I took the photo that graces the title of this blog. That same day I took several others as well.
So in honor of Earth Day, I leave you with another photo I took of a tree that bloomed in the spring at my old house. If I could go back there without crying, I am sure I would see it blooming even now.
Respect our planet. It's the only one we have.
Earth Day came about as an idea from Gaylord Nelson, a senator. The first Earth Day was celebrated in 1970, when I was about 7 months old. (I'm sure my parents had no idea about it; my dad is an ex-Marine sharpshooter whose idea of environmentalism is hunting, and my mother prides herself on having been above all hippy-like ideas, including saving the planet, in the 60s.)
Here's Nelson's take on the history of Earth Day (his own words taken from the EnviroLink website):
Actually, the idea for Earth Day evolved over a period of seven years starting in 1962. For several years, it had been troubling me that the state of our environment was simply a non-issue in the politics of the country. Finally, in November 1962, an idea occurred to me that was, I thought, a virtual cinch to put the environment into the political "limelight" once and for all. The idea was to persuade President Kennedy to give visibility to this issue by going on a national conservation tour. I flew to Washington to discuss the proposal with Attorney General Robert Kennedy, who liked the idea. So did the President. The President began his five-day, eleven-state conservation tour in September 1963. For many reasons the tour did not succeed in putting the issue onto the national political agenda. However, it was the germ of the idea that ultimately flowered into Earth Day.
I continued to speak on environmental issues to a variety of audiences in some twenty-five states. All across the country, evidence of environmental degradation was appearing everywhere, and everyone noticed except the political establishment. The environmental issue simply was not to be found on the nation's political agenda. The people were concerned, but the politicians were not.
After President Kennedy's tour, I still hoped for some idea that would thrust the environment into the political mainstream. Six years would pass before the idea that became Earth Day occurred to me while on a conservation speaking tour out West in the summer of 1969. At the time, anti-Vietnam War demonstrations, called "teach-ins," had spread to college campuses all across the nation. Suddenly, the idea occurred to me - why not organize a huge grassroots protest over what was happening to our environment?
I was satisfied that if we could tap into the environmental concerns of the general public and infuse the student anti-war energy into the environmental cause, we could generate a demonstration that would force this issue onto the political agenda. It was a big gamble, but worth a try.
At a conference in Seattle in September 1969, I announced that in the spring of 1970 there would be a nationwide grassroots demonstration on behalf of the environment and invited everyone to participate. The wire services carried the story from coast to coast. The response was electric. It took off like gangbusters. Telegrams, letters, and telephone inquiries poured in from all across the country. The American people finally had a forum to express its concern about what was happening to the land, rivers, lakes, and air - and they did so with spectacular exuberance. For the next four months, two members of my Senate staff, Linda Billings and John Heritage, managed Earth Day affairs out of my Senate office.
Five months before Earth Day, on Sunday, November 30, 1969, The New York Times carried a lengthy article by Gladwin Hill reporting on the astonishing proliferation of environmental events:
"Rising concern about the environmental crisis is sweeping the nation's campuses with an intensity that may be on its way to eclipsing student discontent over the war in Vietnam...a national day of observance of environmental problems...is being planned for next spring...when a nationwide environmental 'teach-in'...coordinated from the office of Senator Gaylord Nelson is planned...."
It was obvious that we were headed for a spectacular success on Earth Day. It was also obvious that grassroots activities had ballooned beyond the capacity of my U.S. Senate office staff to keep up with the telephone calls, paper work, inquiries, etc. In mid-January, three months before Earth Day, John Gardner, Founder of Common Cause, provided temporary space for a Washington, D.C. headquarters. I staffed the office with college students and selected Denis Hayes as coordinator of activities.
Earth Day worked because of the spontaneous response at the grassroots level. We had neither the time nor resources to organize 20 million demonstrators and the thousands of schools and local communities that participated. That was the remarkable thing about Earth Day. It organized itself.
Many people are not aware that I took the photo that graces the title of this blog. That same day I took several others as well.
So in honor of Earth Day, I leave you with another photo I took of a tree that bloomed in the spring at my old house. If I could go back there without crying, I am sure I would see it blooming even now.
Respect our planet. It's the only one we have.
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